MMVA's

ok so when i first saw Tylor Laughtner i almost like peed my pants, and screamed! he is so hot! i would love to meet him someday! he looks so kool and really nice, i hope hes not a deva.
ooo and Marianas Trench, so funny! another bunch o guys i would love to meet! they are so kick ass! anyway. ya so i must say that mmva's do a ship-shape job. plus the freakin Jonas Bro's! omg, they did a really good job this year. how will they top it next year?
speakin of JB, their show i really good, ive seen it, it is pretty clever. but if they did some thing unpredictable, like that one with that one chick, and Nick, awesome.
o, another ting girlicious, all i can say is eww. get some clothes on you grows sluts! like gawd! is it too much to ask to put some proper frikin pants and shirts on, i dont really want to see the effects of crabs and herpes thank you very much! *shiver*
ooo i just saw a commercial for a person to win a chance to...do something that has to do with the new Harry Potter. omg i have a feeling that its gonna get a little confusing for me, cuz they split it up into like three parts, and there is only two books...Hmmm
k so out of the like three ppl that read this have yall heard the new song from JB? Paranoid. i love the Vid, i like the song too. but on the new album there is a song with .... *swallowed back puke* Miley Cyrus. eww, i really have a large dislike for her. but whatever. no wait, im venting about this, like what a bitch! i hate her, u know that bull she came out with, about Nick J? it was all BUll S. Nick, really, nick is the sweetest guy, i mean look at his puppy dog eyes! how can they do any wrong? and all that shit with her in a shower with a wet white tee, creepy! i just have this he-uge...hate for her, if i ever meet her i might spit in her face, like right in her eye, or up her nose, just something shocking and uncomfortable. rrrrrrrrgggg.
ooo simple plan, good band.
omg some dude just picked up Tim Deegan...akward....i love him though, they are so mean to him. poor guy!:(
i really want Taylor to come on again, and take off his shirt. omg hot body boy! so i also saw Princess protection program, the one that comes out like six days from now...ya that right i saw it b4 it came out. beat that! not that any of you wanted to see it. i didnt even want to see it. but there is also a hot guy in that one. Nicholas Braun, he was Zeke.
OMG LADY GAGA! she is really kool! but she too shows too much Va-j-j! love her heels! well boots. omg she did TWO performances one after the other! me and my sis both agree that she toaly looks high, lol! i would laugh my ass of if she was. wow that slow down was really kool! omg Love the girls grabbing her boobies, and the Madonna inspired ...flair thing...
omg Taylor! he is so kute! oh look at me, i so love him! anyway, so he said something about us girlz that love him, but which ones, other than totally gay girlz, dont love him? anyway so he said that we are gonna get our hearts broken, then the VJ asked bout the movie, and he said to wait till November, ya ill say, i got my heart broken then! lolk anyway I'd better get going, seeing as though its late, and THE KARATE KID is on.

feelin sad lately...

so im not really this sad, i've bin down, but im, like, ok. oo so theres this show called a shot at love with Tela teqela, so i thought that they only did it with her, but they did one for a pair of bi twins. its quite intersting. and they are soooo pretty! anyway so i was listening to avril, when your gone, and i just felt like writing this. see theres this guy i like, i asked him to add me on facebook. but i guess i didnt make a good enough first empression on him cuz he hasnt. and its bim like almost a moonth..no more! uhg, nark! anyway, so he was really hot, and lately i have bin thinkin of a good story line for it. i know i know! i should finish the at fifteen one first, i know! but i get bord wit that, and im not makin the movie anymore. no body is really interested, and im so not prepared. i may do it someday, but not now. wutever. to the letter thing. so like i said not really feelin this way. i will leave you with a funny picture.


Hey
I miss you so much. I wish you could come back. I wish I had said sorry. I wish I could have said goodbye. I'm sorry. I want to be with you so much. I miss you beautiful smile, and your awesome big hugs. I miss the way you loved all your friends, but it was ho before bros. I thought it was funny. But your bros thought it was annoying. I miss your hellos in the morning too. Well every thing you said really. You left some of your clothes. They still smell like you. It reminds me of the things we did. I wish you were still here. Or at least I could call you. I'd give anything just to hear your voice again. Anything to feel your hug, anything to just hear your laugh, or say my name. I hope your happy in heaven now. I hope that you are ok with my decision. I hope to see you soon. I took some pills a few minutes ago. I can feel them starting to work. I will see you soon lover. I love you always.

my new lover!

OMFG i love one tree hill! Chad Michel Murray is so HOTT!! omg i love him. i saw the one where he like died for a few seconds, and unconcious for i think two days. it was so sad, his mom was so sad. i almost cryed at some parts! she was talking about how she had prepared him for losing her, but she wasnt ready for losing him...so sad :( aaawww but when he woke up was so sweet. but it was with nathen...akward! lol


im so Fing bord! im glad that my movie is startin!!! i need some change! im in this loop of boring ness. mlahhh!

i dont feel like putting quotes on. too bord/lazy.

well im makin this a short one. a really really short one. and im most likely gonna ramble on bout OTH (One Tree Hill) BTW im so glad that Dan...tell u bout it later, tuned around. its nice to see that people can change, awww poor halie!

At Fifteen

man its been a long time, sorry fokes! i've been...interupted, for lack of better words...anyway heres some more.


I explained my situation, and that I had less than an hour to get home. She told me that she would make an appointment with the supervisor tomorrow at four. That would give me an hour and a half to get there, and taking the buses, I would need it. I thanked the lady and called my mom telling her I would be few minuets late. She was mad I was going to be late, but glad I called.
When I got home Dillon had started a riot. He was crying so loud that most of the dogs in the neighborhood were barking like mad. He was so mad. I took him into my room, fed him, changed his diaper, and put him to sleep. I put him down and read to him. He liked Peter Rabbit the most. I don't know why. Maybe he was corrupted like his father, and liked to think about Peter getting his tail chopped off. I told my mom that I was going to see a lady about an apartment for me and Dillon tomorrow. She couldn't even look from the tv long enough to say, "Good job." those words had never come out of her mouth to me. She praised my sister with every little thing she did. I could never really understand why my mother treated her like taht, it was bad for her. But she was my mothers kid, I had my ow to worry about. i went to my room to study. usualy i just read over the notes i had taken that day, just so that i was sure to remember. I looked over at Dillon. I wondered how he would turn out? If he was going to be one of those really mature kids that you can't help but trust, or those ones you see on the criminal investigation shows that were the outcome of a rape, and turned into a rapper. I hoped he wouldn't. What was I going to tell him when he asked about his dad, and where or who he is. Am I to say “Oh I don't know, he raped me and left.” what will he think? I didn't want to think about that right now. I decided to distract my self with the pamflits that the lady at the relief center gave me. Reading through them made me see only helpless women and how helpless I felt right now. but I wasnt going to be like them, I wasnt going to be one of these women that you see that you know is going through a hard time. I put the pamflits down and turned off my light. I took one last look at dillion. He was going to get better. He deserved better.

omg! im gonna make that storie into a movie! kools. im in class. hahahaha. i hate this class. its so boring. and the boys laugh at the stupidist things. but then a gain they are boys. not many of them like me very much.
i want him to come up behind me
& wrap his arm s aroundmy waist,
to catch me off gard & wisper...
"'I Love You"

there wis not reallly much to talk about.
O! i went to my first high school dance! it was so much fun! there was this guy thou. he was really cute, but really really shy! i asked him to dance like three or four times. and i practicly gave him a frikin lap-dance! and he still sadi no. i ended up haveing to dance with my friend wesley! now if you know me and wes you know that we are best friends. but we could never date because we are really competitive. so we get mad/ irritated by each other.
Not even Make-up could make her beautiful...
because real beauty comes from loving yur self and
that was something she could never do

ya so other than that guy, it was fun. iall wes's friends were totaly hitting on me! and som of them were girls!!!!

this teacher is anoying he is going on about power point
eeeww i hate this!!!omg he thinks hes sooooooo funny. your not Mr McCallum!

At Fifteen

I walked into my first class the next morning. I sat down and opened my book to last nights homework. I had finished it, but needed help to make sure it was right. I had twenty minuets until class started. I turned to the girl next to me. Her name was Amanda.
“Hey.” I said with a smile. She was nice, but had been hesitant to talk to me ever since I got back.
“Hey.” she looked my way but in a sort of way that said “ I really don't care, so hurry up and say what you have to before anyone sees me talking to you.”
“So did you finish the homework last night?”
“Yeah.” she sighed.
“Umm...could you explain number seven, I'm not sure if I did it right.”
“Why are you asking me? Your the genius. You always get it right.” now that pissed me off. Why was she being so rude? What did I do? I have never done, or said anything to make her mad. Man what a bitch!
“Oh. Well sorry to bother you.” I was mad so I didn't notice, or care about me tone.
“What was that? More girly whore mones?” I turned around to see that the guy behind me, Dustin, had been listening.
“What do you know, the witless wonder can speak!” I picked up my stuff and walked toward the door. I met the teacher on the way out and gave her my homework. “I'm not feeling well.” was all I said as I walked off.
The next class was no better, they had all heard about my rebuttal to Dustin's comments. So after that the rest of the day was pretty much screwed. But at lunch I went to the councilors room. She said that I was too young for any programs, but she could call children's aid to help me. I said no thanks and told her that I could stay at my house until I had somewhere. I knew she wouldn't call home, so I left her with that lie. After school I went to the center. I asked if they had anything they could do to help. They just had the same answer. So I told them the same lie. I sat on a bus bench, wondering what I was going to do. If I let someone call CAS they would take Dillon away, and I would probity never see him again. Wait! What about shelters. For women and children. They would take me! They would have to. The bus came and I went into the terminal. I searched the yellow pages for the women house. I found it under help. Well, thats not ironic. I got onto the buss and waited for the stop. When I got there I realized that I only had an hour left until I had to be home. I quickly ran up to the house. There was a nice desk in a lobby. I walked up to the desk.
“How may I help you?” she asked in a kind voice.
“You don't know how long I have waited to hear those words.” I said with tears in my eyes.She smiled, she must get that a lot.

At Fifteen

What came next is still fuzzy. I mean I know what happened, just not detail. Like how I get home, or how I got to the hospital. Or what time it was, or who called my mom. All I remember was seeing some doctor and he was asking questions. My mom took me home a few days later. They did tests to make sure that I didn't have any std's. They told me to do a pregnancy test in a few weeks. When I went back to school all my friends were so mad. They couldn't believe they let me go off with him by my self. That they had thought nothing like that could ever happen to me. I was so smart, and smart girls don't end up like this. Smart girls don't get raped.
A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I was pregnant with a child of a man I didn't want to even know. Now what in hell was I supposed to do? How was I going to go to school? How was I going to pass high school. I did all my classes at home. I did all my assignments and even got a head on some classes. I finished at the top of my class. Three months into the second semester I delivered. It was a boy. I named him Dillon. After Bob Dillon. He was what got me through.
So that is where it leaves me. Sitting in front of a mirror, with a new thing added to my list. Finding an apartment. I went up to my bed room. Dillon was ,thankfully, asleep in his crib. I checked over him. He was fine. Fast asleep on his back. The lady at the hospital told me that it was important not to put a cover around his crib, it constricts air into the crib, and not to let him sleep on his "tummy" . I forget the reason for that, but I didn't want to let him because it dose something bad to him. I rubbed his tummy. He seemed to like that. But most boys do. I slipped into my pj's. I never thought that I would be happy to have my period. I think I will all way cherish it, and will remind me what it means. I love my Dill, but man dose he ever cry loud. As I lay awake I was thinking of who to talk to. The school councilor, or the lady at the pregnancy center. I had no idea. It was a Tuesday, so it was best to try the councilor.