man i am freakin over school. i don't really know where i want to go or what i want to do. i mean i could do forensics, but i could also do acting. i have no idea.
i keep having this dream, im in college, and i wake up in my new dorm room, or apartment, or what ever. and the guy i like is there. and we go about our usual thing, and I'm in class, and im called to go into the hall. so i do, and some dude in a suit tells me that he died. he was walking to the store and was hit by a transport. and i have no idea what to make of it? i don't know if i wish he would die, or if im wanting to get closer to him because i know i only have a little bit of time left before he leaves. i really like him. but i don't think he likes me like that. i think im just a momentary muse to get his mind off everything else. or maybe im just thinking too much. i don't know. my friend Kate told me that if i start to feel way bad about this i should just stop. but hes so amazing. i mean hes smart, he's an amazing artist, hes so kind and sincere, and to top it all off hes so hot. i just really wish that he could see me in the same light i see him in. i feel really bad about thinking he doesn't care, but im really shy around him, and i feel so little and immature. hes so much more evolved than i am. but then again i am just a litttle girl who hasnt even had a sip of alcohol. but in my defense (of myself...?) i have dose weed a few times, and thats not that bad...right?
