Sunday, May 27, 2012
@SamuelLarsen
I just kinda wanted to let you know...ur an inspiration. I know, I know; stupid girl who just want attention. But, this time, not so much. When I first saw you on the glee project, I thought "this hollagin, he's not gonna go far. But, you did! You believed in your self, and worked hard, and you did it! And you know what? I did something I never thought I could ever do! All thanks to you I have a future and a life! Thanks;)
Sunday, May 20, 2012
All Singing, All Dancing Crap Of The World
My head is so full of broken promises, unfollowed follow ups, fucked up relationships, unfriendly "friends" who talk, and bitch and yell and freak at every little bump in the road. I work to impress. I put strong walls, and thick makeup masks. I stretch the truth. I lie a lot. I try, not as hard as I could. I smoke so much. Sometimes I burp up smoke and don't remember when it was from. I bake so hard so long I am sometimes still high the next morning! I sleep all the time. I veg. I can't wait till I get my new place tho! I can have my boy friend over and have sex without the room mates hearing! And vise versa on there behalf...I feel like I fail all the time. And that makes me feel really sad. So I say and feel really fucked up things. Sometimes I can't believe the things that pass between my ears. The curule assholiean fucking puss-y vomit of the underbelly of the forgotten children's minds. I fuck mothers for a break, I kick puppy's and piss on baby's. I fucking hate myself sometimes..then others I think I'm kinda ok. Most people think I really like myself. I mean. I like myself a lot more than I did a few years ago. I dunknow. Maybe I'm just having a mental melt down. Maybe I'm just fucked. Maybe I'm this dimensions Tyler Durden. But then again, the first rule is not to talk about it...
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Comment
Jesse rites the nices poetry. It's smooth, and real, and joker. It makes sense to me. It's like the image of a god took some wire and strung our brains together. All the nights of watching endless batman. Reading comics. Talking about the joker. Skipping, butter fly finger dance, face paint, nude girl magazine, British chicks. You and I got something that people just exaggerate on how alike our brains are. It's like. Like. Everything. An. And it doesn't even matter that your so far, cuz, cuz your still you, and that's what matters! All that matters is that your awesome and I want you to be you for ever! I want you to work really hard at it though! I want you to wright like crazy! Work really really hard! Make a bunch of money and just do it! Be! Live! Open! Explode! Become the serge, become the beat! Move within, without, back. Forth. Plow. Let nothing get in the way my dearest! You make me smile so often! It's ridiculous! But. You also make me kinda sad sometimes. You get so down on your self. You don't see how truly fucking awesome you are to hang out with! I love to just chill and watch a tv show or a movie. I just want you to know that someone really loves you Jesse. Your my fave! Ily<3
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Someone who did the best she could with the talent she had. - J.K Rowlling
Totally saw the future u today. Lately u have had a good handle on the future. I have no idea why though. Maybe my stars are aligned...
I'm sorry I've been flaky lately. I don't mean to be. I really miss hanging out all the time. I miss talking bout stuff, watching awesome movies together. And I really miss making fun of john!
I hope you don't think that I'm making excuses, and ditching u on purpose. I just sorta lose focus, get stuck in ruts and and daily shit that I forget about things out side that.
But I keep you close to mind. Remind myself that I need to get out of my head and look around. And then I see you!
Kay, I'm getting weird. I'll stop now. Just wanted to say I was thinking of you today. Love, peace, and prosper!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Drugs
She twirled around again. Flashing an actual smile. God, I said to myself, how is she so happy all the time? It was almost five, I could barely keep my eyes open.
"Come dance with me!" she called over the pulsing music. I shook my head. I didn't want to ruin your fun. And I didn't. You shrugged and sauntered back to the dance floor.
I ordered another drink. I was already drunk, but felt the buzz leaving. If I was going to do this I needed to be right sauced. I checked my watch. Five fifteen. Another ten minuets, then we go. I motioned to you. You were so reluctant, but agreed. I pulled you close as we walked down the avenue, laughing and holding hands.
People looked at us. I didn't care. I had you with me. That's all that ever mattered. That's all that ever mattered.
"Come dance with me!" she called over the pulsing music. I shook my head. I didn't want to ruin your fun. And I didn't. You shrugged and sauntered back to the dance floor.
I ordered another drink. I was already drunk, but felt the buzz leaving. If I was going to do this I needed to be right sauced. I checked my watch. Five fifteen. Another ten minuets, then we go. I motioned to you. You were so reluctant, but agreed. I pulled you close as we walked down the avenue, laughing and holding hands.
People looked at us. I didn't care. I had you with me. That's all that ever mattered. That's all that ever mattered.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Broken up
You seem like u wanted to talk to me...but at the same time you didn't. Maybe it was the distance I put on my face. Maybe it was the fact that I feel sexy, and look the part. Maybe your scared of me. I fucking hope you are boy.
I have a huge urge to go sit in front of you. To be an even bigger bitch. You told me not to talk to you anymore and I'll stick to it . It wasn't my fault. I guess I'm not over this. And it's not so much the fact that I liked you. I am over that, I'm just not over how you ended our friendship.
And how we talked that night. You told me about what it's like to be dieing. What it's like to have most of your life over. I can't get over how sweet and tired your voice was. I bet you were on a lot of medication. But you powered through that to talk to me. Whatever.
I hope you stare. I hope you notice how short my skirt is, and that my pink bra is poking out a little. I hope you notice me. I hope you are hurt that we can't be friends anymore. I hope that you can hear how cool my music is, how the beat pumps up and down, in and out, back and forth. Fuck you.
I have a huge urge to go sit in front of you. To be an even bigger bitch. You told me not to talk to you anymore and I'll stick to it . It wasn't my fault. I guess I'm not over this. And it's not so much the fact that I liked you. I am over that, I'm just not over how you ended our friendship.
And how we talked that night. You told me about what it's like to be dieing. What it's like to have most of your life over. I can't get over how sweet and tired your voice was. I bet you were on a lot of medication. But you powered through that to talk to me. Whatever.
I hope you stare. I hope you notice how short my skirt is, and that my pink bra is poking out a little. I hope you notice me. I hope you are hurt that we can't be friends anymore. I hope that you can hear how cool my music is, how the beat pumps up and down, in and out, back and forth. Fuck you.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Everlong Rapper
Everytime the door opens its like I have swallowed a new butterfly. I remember the softness of your skin, and the sweet taste of your lips. The warmness of your touch, and the deep forever in your eyes. You lust. And I lust.
But I can't anymore. I've grown up. I've learned to live with the fact that I can't have you anymore. I don't know how well this will go for you. I hope it goes well for me.
Please understand. There's always going to be a place for you in my heart. There will always be a deep connection between us. And I care for you deeply. I want to see you succeed, cause when you get there, I know your just going to explode! Your gonna have so much fun! And meet new people, and and, eventually forget about me. I hope you don't. I hope we will be friends.
I hope you don't forget me, forget us. How awesome we were together, and the fun times we had.
You have high expectations for today's hot tubbing adventure. I do too. But not exactly the same. I know that it's going to be a big disappointment for you. And I feel really bad about that. But you had your chance. I wanted for you. And it feels like forever ago...
But I can't anymore. I've grown up. I've learned to live with the fact that I can't have you anymore. I don't know how well this will go for you. I hope it goes well for me.
Please understand. There's always going to be a place for you in my heart. There will always be a deep connection between us. And I care for you deeply. I want to see you succeed, cause when you get there, I know your just going to explode! Your gonna have so much fun! And meet new people, and and, eventually forget about me. I hope you don't. I hope we will be friends.
I hope you don't forget me, forget us. How awesome we were together, and the fun times we had.
You have high expectations for today's hot tubbing adventure. I do too. But not exactly the same. I know that it's going to be a big disappointment for you. And I feel really bad about that. But you had your chance. I wanted for you. And it feels like forever ago...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)